Man's infertility is the cause of more than half of the cases of childlessness in a couple. If the long-term treatment of the male does not yield results, and the age of the woman has reached the 35-year limit, the couple will inevitably have to choose: either to adopt a child or undergo a fertilisation programme with donor's sperm and give birth to their own biological baby. The second option seems to be better because a woman is healthy and can give birth on her own. However, she often hesitates to talk about it to her husband. Why is this happening and how can we help a male not only accept the necessity of donor's sperm but also love his future child as his own? The Member of the European Society of Human Reproduction and Embryology, Obstetrician\Gynaecologist, Head Physician of the Reproductive Clinic MAMA RĪGA, Victoria Zaletova says:
"If my husband refuses to use donor's sperm, does that mean he doesn't love me?" — such a question is asked by our patients quite often. And the answer is: absolutely not! To know that you're sterile is stress in any case, and men can process it no less painfully than women, although they tend to hide their feelings inside. "Will I be able to accept this child as my own?", "Is this going to ruin my relationship with my wife?" — these and many other questions are raised by a man, and sometimes he can't find answers on his own.
Male infertility is a difficult test for the family. When agreeing to a donor programme, only one-third of the infertile men do not feel themselves psychologically uncomfortable. In fact, the sterile man has to agree that another person will be the father of his wife's child. Well, at least that's how the man sees it. However, this view of the situation is incorrect. After all, a person who conceived a child is only a small part of a parent — the greater role is played by a person who has raised and invested the love and care in a child, who taught important things and passed on the experience. Being a father is something far more than just the ability to perpetuate your chromosome set.
Rational and positive attitude to life and an experienced fertility specialist are the principal aides of the couple in such situation. The specialists of our Reproductive Centre are attentive to the psychological conditioning of the couple for the donor programme. If a woman is morally prepared to use donor's sperm for fertilisation but does not know how the husband will react to this idea, we recommend that she first come to a preliminary interview with the fertility specialist of our Centre. The qualified and experienced expert will tell you all the details of this treatment procedure and help you reasonably provide your spouse with all the pros and cons. MAMA RĪGA Clinic accepts patients from any country. You can arrange a visit by calling us at +371 66 900 400, WhatsApp or by writing to the e-mail address [email protected]
Chief physician, obstetrician-gynecologist, fertility specialist, ESHRE member
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